What If You Could Send Employers A F*** You Email?

Last month, my brother and I were sharing our frustrations with seeking employment. In the process of deciphering who had the worst letdown, it occurred to me. What if you could send a f*** you email to the employers who failed to get back to you? Think about it, how many phone and video interviews have you done, where at the end, employers have promised to follow-up but never did? For my brother and I, too many to mention. We try to laugh it off and tell ourselves that we wouldn’t want to work for a company that lacks professionalism. But, what is so difficult about making a quick phone call or sending an email with the truth as to why?

As job seekers, we concern ourselves with formalities and professionalism. Why are companies exempt or pardoned for not doing the same? Because they can and they do! Professionalism and formalities are for those with experience that matches the company’s current needs. Basically you don’t have that je ne sais quoi; quality that eludes description. Why don’t companies treat potential employees as potential customers? Because that type of treatment is reserved for new and existing employees.

For those of you trying to process the rejection from employers, I hope my f*** you email brings a smile to your face. A break from all the cliches.

Sample F*** You Email

To Whom It May Concern:

F*** you for getting my hopes up and wasting my time. For watching me squirm through your grueling and unrealistic video interview. You’re welcome for the free office entertainment.

F*** you for lacking articulation in your responses to my questions and answers and making me wonder why I don’t have your job. Honestly, what kind of vice president replies with okay, great! several times?

F*** you for being so detailed in your job post, yet lacking the attention to detail in your phone interview process. I have done plenty of research, I would be more than willing to share information and give you a couple of pointers.

F*** you for asking the questions: Why do you want to work here? What makes you the perfect candidate for this position? It is frustrating avoiding the obvious response, I need the money. The fact is, the majority of answers you’ll receive will be elaborate falsifications of what most candidates are really like and what they can do.

F*** you for requiring an account setup and loading a cover letter and resume. What’s the point if I still have to navigate the site and enter the information? What’s the purpose if you don’t take the time to read it? I am prepared for the phone interview, yet I can hear you shuffling through my resume in the background. You have some nerve creating a random question from information you just read. Oh, let’s not forget! You asked me to elaborate simple skills/duties that are self explanatory. Come on!

F*** you for not giving detail as to why I was not considered for the position. I know a pre-formatted template is quick and easy, but what’s so hard about tweaking it? I’m sure human resource management , upper management , and/or department management provided details for each potential candidate. Some of us, the majority of us, would really like to know where we went wrong.

I understand my name may be one of many on a list of non-potentials, that recruiting is costly and time consuming, but just like you, I need to make money. I owe it to myself, my family, and my bill collectors to get a job. So, if you could just take a moment and elaborate on that pre-formatted template of yours, I would greatly appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Desperately Seeking Employment